dead-poets-society-04-1yesterday when i heard that robin williams died, i was so shocked and saddened by the news. he’s someone that has created such good memories for not only me, but so many people, but the fact he was hurting so much is what really gets me. this summer i lost someone very close to me, and it’s a loss i’ve been trying to deal with everyday. words are something i struggle to come up with when i think about this person who is so blatantly missing from my life, and i think it’s because i still can’t believe that she’s missing. the fact that she’s even missing sucks, and “sucks” is really one of the only words that i can come up with. this is something i wasn’t going to originally share on here, but my absence for the last few months was because i didn’t feel like writing for a while. how could i write something that had nothing to do with what i was feeling? i just couldn’t. so when i found out robin williams died i went online and watched one of his clips from dead poets society (one of my favorite movies) and one of my favorite movie scenes, the “oh captain, my captain” scene. if you haven’t seen it, i recommend you do. it’s something that stays with you long after it’s over, and the same goes for the actual poem that inspired this scene. i’ve been watching this amongst other videos from robin williams, and before i went to sleep last night i saw that his daughter posted something on twitter. it’s from the little prince and it seems to capture the words that i have been at a loss to find for the past few months. when i think of my aunt, my godmother, my friend, and someone who felt like my second mom, and feel sadness at the realization that she’s no longer physically here, this is what i am going to think of. although she may be gone, she isn’t truly gone. i don’t believe that. i know she’s here, and i know she’s with me, just as i know there are an infinite number of stars in the sky and she is in every one of them.

“you- you alone will have the stars as no one else has them. in one of the stars, i shall be living. in one of them, i shall be laughing. and so it will be as if all the stars were laughing, when you look at the sky at night. you – only you – will have stars that can laugh.” – the little prince